Self pity, is that one thing, that will steal your happiness, take away your joy and keep you at the same spot for the rest of your life.

Self pity is an addictive behavior, that dimes your potential, make you unaware of all the good things you have and all the good things happening around you.

Self pity will make you lose all the people that genuinely loves you, and deprive you from achieving your dreams.

Above all, self pity is a poison that kills you mentally, and take away everything good from you.


How to identify self pity

Always feel like the victim: In life, good and bad things happens, how you deal with it and how you let it affect or change you, is up to you, self pity makes you feel you are the only one life happens to, you constantly remind yourself how bad life has been to you, self pity subdue all the good things that has happened and make the worse days of your life shine so bright.

Seeking Attention: The urge to constantly get attention from people over bad events in your life is self pity. This can be done differently, sometimes, you want to be awkwardly noticed.
If you feel the need to always tell people how bad life has been or how sick you feel to get them to be friends with you, or to get their attention, or to make them become closer to you, you have the self pity poison in you.
When you manipulate people to get something from them, what they will always feel for you is sympathy,
and soon they will be drained by you.
You might genuinely care about them, but the self pity will drain every happiness and what ever good there is.

Depression: Self pity is the mastermind of depression, it makes you dwell in the past things you can’t change, you blame everything, everyone and yourself for every misfortune, you do nothing positive about things, you let your mind lazy around things that would have been, sitting on the could have been. You stay sad inwards and always.

You see and expect the worse in everything and from everyone: Self pity will make you prepare for war, when there’s peace at the moment. It will make you paranoid over everything and everyone around you. You will always be alert for the worse. It will make you make you feel guilty for being happy.

Stagnation: Self pity will crush your dreams or ambition before you even begin to pursue them, it will place the negative in front of you, and you will never see the possibilities, it will place a constant fear in you, of failing something you haven’t even tried out. You will remain where you are, always confused of where or how to begin, and every little challenge stops you from making a move.
Self pity will make you see the wrong in everything before you see the good in it.

People will avoid or stay away from you: How people feel around you is very important, if you have the self pity poison, you tend to rob it on everyone that comes your way, you make them feel worthless, because that’s how you feel, you make sure all the problems they face comes out glaring, you drop your toxicity and negative energy on them, knowingly or unknowingly.

Ways to conquer self pity

Identify the good things in your life:
Take sometime to study and reflect back on things, appreciate the good times and the good people in your life.
Acknowledge you are not alone, most people face or are suffering from what you are going through too, even worse situations.
Believe things will get better in time, that blind faith will restore your inner peace.
Never blame people for your misfortune, let go of the toxic people in your life and embrace people that strive to make you better. Take note, know and stick to your Identity.

Stop being too pessimistic and paranoid:
Remember to live while you are still alive, what’s the need to be upset over everything and unhappy, when someday you are going to die? Have fun, laugh hard, and rejoice, for everyday you wake up is a brand new day and a new page.
Believe me when I say

“happiness is the only power that ignite the light in you”

It’s there and it’s real

Choose a positive change in every situation: Agreed, there are bad days, days we feel down and sad, there are bad experiences that could change us. The kind of change is up to you.

Seen this movie? ‘Beasts of no nation’ A movie by Caro Joji Fukunaga. About a little boy that had no choice but to become a child shoulder, as his country goes into horrific war, to survive, he did what it takes. It changed him, but he choose the kind of change at the end. He choose to find happiness again.

Take control: Let go of whatever takes away your happiness and joy. don’t be afraid to move on, whatever takes so much from you and never gives to you is a setback and an obstruction to your progress in life generally.

Be positive: Be hopeful as you strive each day for the pursuit of happiness.


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