Two years ago, I got pregnant from a very toxic relationship that almost cost me my life, I managed to run away to …………. state to start a new life there.
I confided only in my sister, I told her the state I traveled to but did not say the particular area I was. Talking about my relationship is a very long story on it’s own, I just want to get help for my current problem.
I stayed In a house where about eight girls share a room and a toilet, we paid Three Thousand Naira per week (N3k) if not you would be evicted from the house, at this point I was heavy and thank God a girl I met in that house just liked me and was there for me.
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When I gave birth, seeing my struggles and how I suffered paying my medical bills a Nurse approached me and asked me if i was interested in selling my baby for Two Hundred Thousand Naira, at first it sounded insane to me, So that evening as my friend came to see me I told her about what the Nurse said, she wasn’t surprised, although she didn’t outrightly tell me to take the offer, but her expression did, because she kept saying ‘how you go do now, to take care of this baby? Have cried a lot, these days I can’t find tears anymore, I hardly feel anything. The first time I saw my baby I don’t know what I felt, “most women say seeing the baby takes away all your pain” my case was different, because I can’t explain the feeling I got.
To cut the long story short, that night, a doctor came and talked to me, first of all he asked if I have eaten, I said yes. He said other things as if he cared, then he finally hit the nail. He asked me again, this time in a cunning way. ‘don’t let this child suffer.’
All I felt this time was pain in my heart, because I was making up my mind to accept their offer. I couldn’t sleep that night at all. My baby had some complications according to them, but whenever I’m breastfeeding him, he seem fine to me, he was kept in an incubator, whenever he cries, the Nurse will come and call me to breastfeed him, that’s the only time I see my boy. Maybe this contributed to the whole thing.
Finally the next morning, as my friend brought me food, I told her I was going to accept the offer, she still kept quiet, all she said was ‘I should do whatever I feel is best for me and the baby.
I was going to be discharged the next day, so I called the Nurse and told her to call the doctor, I suspected other Nurses didn’t know what was happening when the Nurse asked me to come outside my word. I came out and we both went to the doctor’s car, I told them I want Three Hundred Thousand Naira (N300k) instead of Two Hundred Thousand Naira (N200k).
The doctor said they are trying to help me, and I’m still bargaining.
I stood aside, while the doctor talk to the Nurse, after which he called me and asked me if he could transfer money to my account, I said yes, He said if this is done I would be discharged Immediately, I asked who would breastfeed my baby? he said I shouldn’t worry.
After few hours, I got an alert of Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Naira in my account, then I went to the Nurse, as she saw me coming, she walked towards me and we both went outside again, I complained about the money and she said I should just manage it, that I’m still owing the hospital twelve thousand (N12k) and that’s cleared now.
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She asked if I want to see my baby for the last time I said No, I wanted to run away that was all I felt.
I called my friend to help me bring my box out from the girls house/hostel we stayed, she said ok. I picked few things from the hospital and left without informing the Nurse or Doctor
I know a lot of cheap hotels, by this time it was past 9pm in the night, I withdrew money with my ATM Card, and got a room of Four Thousand Naira (N4k) my friend met me there with my belongings.
I stayed two nights and went to another Girls house/hostel. I stayed in ………….. state for a year and five months then went to another state. I cry most nights, the first six months was hell for me, there was a night I nearly killed myself but I did not.
I see news of people throw their babies in a refuse dump and I’m among those that say God forbid, I don’t know how I was able to do this wicked thing and still lived.
Recently my pain came back when I saw a little boy, in a Boutique where I went to buy something, another customer was with this child, we were at the counter and I just jokingly held the baby’s hand as he smiled at me. And I’m sure that’s my child, my spirit and body tells me so.
I cried so much that night, and after a week, I came back there to ask the sales girl but she seem not to remember the woman, I traveled back to the state where I gave birth to my son, I went to the hospital the Nurse was no longer there, I never forget the name the nurse called the doctor, I asked for doctor ………….., they said they never had a doctor by that name, and I just knew the Nurse as ‘Nurse’
All I want is my child, I made a mistake, I was young, naive and scared, the pain is still fresh like yesterday, every 1 – 2 years old boy child torment me when I look at them.
What will do? How can I get my boy back? I want to find peace, I don’t mind if I am arrested after my child is found. I just want him found.
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Anonymous
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